I used to be an adult. I spent almost 10 years working for the Department of Juvenile Justice. I worked as a Correctional Officer and a Juvenile Probation Officer. I also worked at Delta Air Lines for a while and had a couple of self owned businesses. I also spent 5 years travelling around the country opening and remodeling stores for Advance Auto Parts. When I was 40, I had to have a kneecap replacement. Advance was fixing to screw me over, and I figured out what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wanted to be a kid. I wanted to see things through the eyes of a child again. I wanted to be amazed by everything. I wanted to live without much concern for consequences. I wanted to make every crazy idea and dream come true. Seven years later, it caught up with me.
I've written about my heart surgery before, so I won't get into that this time. I will say though, that going through an experience like that changes you. I have talked to several other friends that at some point in life "should've been dead." They all say one thing, it changes you. It certainly does.
Somewhere in the time since then I've become somewhat of a hermit, seldom drifting outside of SamG Land... I cut my show schedule back to several "Rare Public Appearances" and started looking at art as more of a hobby.
I recently watched the promo reel for the reality show they were trying to do about several of us Northeast Ga artists a couple of years ago. I hardly recognize the "way too overly confident, arrogant, fun loving, self centered SamG" from about 4 years ago. I missed him. Back then SamG was both extremes. I was extremely shy but very outgoing. I was cocky and arrogant but still humble. I was a real life living breathing paradox. Recently I came to the realization that I was now a "sick of the world and mankind in general hermit, with a bum heart and a lot of stagnant dreams."
What had changed? I thought about it for a long time. I had accidentally grown up some. My outlook on everything had changed. The past year had changed me enough that I wasn't the same kid anymore. People draw their strength and inspiration from different places. I know several who depend on nature. I get mine from people and from having an audience. I loved being an auctioneer and putting on a show. I felt like the P.T. Barnum of the Junk World. I never worried much if I made a lot of money, but did I put on a good show. It's why I wanted to do SamG Land... so people will come and I can put on a show. I miss my audience.
I've been working on getting rid of some of this adulthood that crept in. I still know what I want to be when I grow up... that is one thing that hasn't changed.
SamG Loves Every Dang One of You!!!!
