I cried today during a Star Wars movie... and more sentimental ramblings

I went and saw "Star Wars, The Rise of Skywalker" today.  I'd been kinda putting it off for a couple days.   Lorri and I sat there until the end of the closing credits.  It was an attempt to hide the fact that I was crying.  Some of it was that this storyline that I've been following for 40 years came to an end.  That wasn't the real reason I was fighting off the tears though. 

If you've been following me for any amount of time, you're already familiar with the story of my heart surgery in March of 2017.  If not, there's a blog about it all on here somewhere, go find it, it's a good story.  For the past several years before that I'd lived life not caring if I lived or died.  That day though,  I was riding in an ambulance on my way to have open heart surgery that I was told I likely wouldn't survive.  As I laid there, I came up with two reasons that I wanted to live.  I thought the Georgia Bulldogs would have a decent football team, and I'd like to see it. (They went on to play for the National Championship.)  The other reason was that I'd like to see the end of the Star Wars movies.  Today as I sat there in the dark watching those rolling credits, I thought of that ambulance ride.  I thought about how thankful I was that God let me stay here on this Earth. I thought about how one of the only two reasons I could come up with for wanting to live for, was to see this movie. 

Then my mind shifted to this decade ending in a few days.  Seeing this movie today, in a sense, was kind of like the end of that era of my life.  I've accomplished the things that I wanted to live for.  The 2010's were a decade full of emotions and ups and downs.  I think of the loved ones that passed away over the past 10 years.  I really miss my Pop a lot.  Friends like Wayne Storey, Craig Hicks, Brandon Rogers, and many others, I still think of often.  I left Pike County after living there my whole life and moved 2 1/2 hours away on my own to chase a crazy dream. So many wonderful people have entered my life in the past 10 years.  Some are still friends, while others were only meant to pass through.

That's enough about the past. That era has now ended.  It is time to start anew.  I can think of a lot more reasons to live for now. There are some beautiful, amazing people, in my life right now.  This crazy dream of mine is starting to come true. I still have Perfect Hair for Television, (so if anybody is needing someone to be a movie star or host a gameshow or something... just holler!)  I could go on and on about all the reasons, but I am definitely happy to be living. 

Goals for the coming decade: 

1.  Show love and encouragement to as many people as I can. 
2.  Right the wrongs I've done, and forgive those who wrong me.
3.  Have fun every single day.
4.  Keep doing things the way I want to do them.

2019 was a great year to be SamG.  I'm lucky that I get to be that full-time.  Thanks to all of you that have purchased my work, visited SamG Land, been a friend, prayed for me, or said a kind word.  I love you all.  May the coming decade be full of love, creativity, friendships, experiences and even more love!!!

Always remember, if you ever need a friend... you have one right here!!!
I mean that.

SamG

Finding something lost

I'm not real sure if it's the pressure of getting ready for my solo show this coming Saturday or not, but I feel like I've gotten back a part of me that's been gone for a while.  Ever since my heart surgery, I feel like I've struggled to be creative.  I like the art that I've been doing for the yard, but honestly haven't done much art for sale that I've liked a whole lot.  Most of it was a redo of previous ideas.  Lately though something has changed. 

I feel like my mind has awakened a bit.  I was at a Santana concert a couple weeks ago.  They performed "Imagine" by John Lennon.  His wife, Cindy Blackman Santana, who is an amazing drummer, sang it.  During the song, I got an idea for a painting.  That hasn't happened in a long time. 
I've had several new ideas that I look forward to showing this coming weekend.  New ideas, I've been struggling to get those back for a while now.  I hope they keep coming. 

I've been kinda missing doing shows lately.  I miss seeing a lot of my friends out there.  There just aren't any good local shows that I know of that are still around.  I refuse to apply to a show where I have to pay a jury fee.  If they want me they can invite me.  I approached shows differently than a lot of people.  My goal was for people to view me as the art, the stuff I made was souvenirs.  You come meet me, take home something if you want and I tried to NEVER, no matter how broke I was, act like I needed the money.  I miss being around people.  I get my energy from people. 

Today while I was switching out summer/winter clothes in my closet, I came across the Glow in the Dark jacket that I used to wear, but haven't in a couple of years.  The other day I came across one of my original "Free Hugs" shirts and a couple pair of gold painted shoes.  I put them back a while back for when I open the "SamG Land Museum of all things SamG."  I kinda miss that guy that used to wear them.  I've thought a lot about how he was probably the part of me that died when I had my heart incident.  Maybe part of him needed to. 

Anyways, who knows maybe I'll pull that Glow in the Dark  jacket out and wear it sometime.  And I'd have to wear the matching Glow in the Dark Gold Shoes.   The world could always use more hugs too.  Just wondering if maybe the future shouldn't start with where the past left off.  Just have to wait and see.

SamG 

Funerals are good for bringing back memories...

I went to a funeral today.  It was for my mom's brother, Marion, but everybody knew him as "Speedy."  I always liked Uncle Speedy.  I would consider him and his brother, my Uncle Billy, as two of the best storytellers that I've ever heard.  I stopped by my Grandfather's grave too while I was over there.  He's buried beside GA 20 across from Philadelphia Baptist Church near Canton, GA in what was known as Buffington Community.  The Air Force Thunderbirds flew over a couple of times while I was there, which I thought was pretty cool. 

My grandfather had 19 kids.  Only 3 of them are left now, Uncle Billy, Aunt Faye, and Aunt Donnie, but we all know her as Dunk.  It was fun visiting everyone and hearing stories.  Even got Uncle Billy on a roll and he told a couple.  Here is one of my favorites...  Papa Weaver (my grandpa) had made him a big batch of homebrew and had it bottled up and hid it all up under the front porch.  Back then the preacher would come around and hold "Prayer Meeting" at different people's houses.  All the neighboring folks would gather around the house where the preacher was meeting and they'd have a service.  This one particular day, it was really hot.  About the time the preacher got going good, they started hearing a POP POP POP noise.  It was the homebrew blowing the corks out the bottle.  

I'll tell you one more.  Papa Weaver loved to pull a joke on somebody.  I've heard countless tales about him doing that.  Uncle Billy told the story about Papa teaching him how to ride a bull.  The first time the bull threw him straight over his horn and down right in front of him.  Papa told him to grab the bull by the tail and hold it over his shoulder.  Billy said that time the bull just run slap through the fence with him.  You would have to hear him tell it though.  Nobody tells a story like Uncle Billy.  

I used to love going to Uncle Speedy and Aunt Mary Ann's.  She made the best Chicken and Dumplings ever.  We were talking about that as I was eating some at Cracker Barrel this afternoon.  I spent many holidays there with them.  I loved to hear Uncle Speedy tell stories about when he was racing.  I can still see that one toothed grin that he had.  As a matter of fact, it was the subject of my first painting.  

In November 2007, I painted my first painting.  SamG #1.  I've put a picture of it below.  I'd taken an online career quiz that said that I should be an artist.  Having never painted before, I bought some paints, brushes and a palette and dug through my shop and found a piece of plywood.  Using the bed of my truck as my easel, I painted a picture of Uncle Speedy and his one tooth to give to my aunt Mary Ann for Christmas.  When I went to sign it, I realized Sam G. was all I was gonna be able to fit there... and it just stuck.  It got merged into one word a little bit later and became SamG.  That's how this whole journey began.

Thanks for all the memories Uncle Speedy.  You fought a good fight for the past 11 months, but now you are home.

Me blabbing a lot about being successful....

It's a cold and rainy day here in World Famous SamG Land.  The past few weeks have been really busy.  It is a perfect time to take some time off and rest.  I have a few things to work on, but I don't have to be in any real hurry.  I won't be in any hurry anyways. 

I see a lot of my other artist friends working hard right up until the last day filling Christmas orders.  Many are already talking about plans for the coming New Year.  January and February are typically tough on artists with sales being low during those months.  I'm hoping the best for all those as they work to build a reserve for the next couple of months. 

I see a lot of posts on social media about "What it Takes to be a Successful Artist!" or similar inspirational topics.  I used to read all of those stories, trying to learn what it takes to make it.  I stopped a long time ago.  I have my own opinion as to what it takes to be a "successful" artist, but for the sake of this post, I'll keep those to myself. 

Most people view success differently than I do.  I doubt few would think I was successful by looking at my bank account.  I quit caring a long time ago about which galleries carried my work.  I prefer not being in them honestly, unless they purchase my work and I don't have to keep up with what art is where.  I have also cut back on doing shows, which in my opinion has helped more than hurt.  When people do see me out somewhere, they know it's pretty rare so they seem more likely to buy my work.  I also choose not to promote myself or do art shows in the region in which I live.  I have seen that it isn't worth the effort anymore.  There aren't many true "Art Events" here anyway.  Most seem to be an event that is centered around something else... Wine, Music, or just a Big Party for example... and they need artists booth fees to help pay for it. 

Why would I feel that I am "successful" at being an artist?  I have fun.  Since I took all the pressures off of myself of doing what everyone else thinks I need to do.  I have fun.  I said when I started making art, "If it ever becomes work, I'll quit."  I've been close to quitting several times.  I also feel like I'm successful as an artist because I have done it MY WAY.  Just ask show promoters, I have told many over the years that "No that's not the way I'm going to do it."  If they object, then i don't go.  I also refuse to pay a jury fee.  Demand that they pre-approve you.  It works a lot more than you may think!!!   I typically don't deal with people in the "Art Business."  I've just learned better.  I tell people NO... and often go into long ramblings and opinions of why I have said NO.  NO is the most empowering word in the English Language.  Use it more.  I make whatever I want to make. Some like it, some don't.  I don't care either way.  The biggest reason I consider myself successful at being an artist???  I make people happy, or at least I do my best to.  Money is always good to get.. but smiles are often the best payment ever!!! 

So before anybody gets all judgemental and thinks I'm putting down the way you do things, I'm not.  Work hard.  Continue to set goals.  Just don't use them as a measure of success.  Success is perceived anyway.  Change the way you look at it.  In life, happiness is the greatest success.  Don't be afraid to do it your way. 

Or just tell everybody you are World Famous and fake it like i did... even convince yourself of it...

It's up to you.....

Merry Christmas from SamG Land!!!!!!

Birthday thoughts, Big Dreams, and other misc. ramblings

Well I made another trip around the sun.  I'm up to 48 of them now.  I am thankful for every one of them and hope for many more. 

What's been up with SamG, you ask?  I've been busy doing a few shows.  Felt good to be out in public again for a bit.  Now I'm totally happy being a recluse again for a while.  I'm working and getting ready for the Art Fandango here in December.  I'm hoping to have a lot of additions and changes to SamG Land by then.  It's going to be a big time Dec. 8-9.  Me and Lorri will be here along with our guest artists Eric Legge, Michelle Humphreys, Fawne Derosia, Claire Vohman, and Kristin Davis. 

Speaking of SamG Land.  I've been doing a lot of dreaming lately.  I was approached about buying the 5 acres next to us.  I've come up with an idea with several phases.  The first phase would be a weekly artist market.  I also want to host 2 big art shows per year there.  The next phases involve building a pavilion and adding cabins for artists who want to come stay.  It would also be an ongoing art installation beginning Day 1.  I moved up here 5 1/2 years ago because a group of people had a vision of turning this area into an "Arts Mecca."  Things happened, opinions differed, things were said etc... and the vision sort of dissipated and people went their separate ways.  Any hard feelings that I may have had are long gone.

 I still have that vision though.  It's a vision that I've had for a long time.  I want to build something.  I want to be a tourist attraction.  I want to show the world my vision and what I can do.  I've been tucked up in the woods right here long enough.  I watched the promotional video for the "Outsiders" show that was pitched a couple of years ago and I don't recognize that guy anymore.  Back then I was cocky and arrogant, over confident, loud and proud, and the Ultimate Ladies Man.  I was in ways larger than life, or at least I told everyone I was.  I kinda miss that guy. 

A lot of people get their inspiration and draw energy from different things.  Many artist friends of mine turn to nature, music, religion, or childhood memories for example.  I draw all of my energy from people.  I need people in my life.  I live off of attention.  I don't get much tucked up here in my own little world.  It is time to open that world up to more people. 

So, at this point, I'm looking for either an entrepreneur or a dumbass, whichever comes first.  Talk about your dreams... see if they come true.... 

Love to everyone of you

SamG

Dang It.... I accidentally grew up

I've been trying to figure out what's been different about me lately.  I think I've finally figured it out.  Somehow, I accidentally let myself grow up a little.  

I used to be an adult.  I spent almost 10 years working for the Department of Juvenile Justice.  I worked as a Correctional Officer and a Juvenile Probation Officer.  I also worked at Delta Air Lines for a while and had a couple of self owned businesses.  I also spent 5 years travelling around the country opening and remodeling stores for Advance Auto Parts.  When I was 40, I had to have a kneecap replacement.  Advance was fixing to screw me over, and I figured out what I wanted to be when I grew up.  I wanted to be a kid.  I wanted to see things through the eyes of a child again.  I wanted to be amazed by everything.  I wanted to live without much concern for consequences.  I wanted to make every crazy idea and dream come true.  Seven years later, it caught up with me. 

I've written about my heart surgery before, so I won't get into that this time.  I will say though, that going through an experience like that changes you.  I have talked to several other friends that at some point in life "should've been dead."  They all say one thing, it changes you.  It certainly does.

Somewhere in the time since then I've become somewhat of a hermit, seldom drifting outside of SamG Land... I cut my show schedule back to several "Rare Public Appearances" and started looking at art as more of a hobby. 

I recently watched the promo reel for the reality show they were trying to do about several of us Northeast Ga artists a couple of years ago.  I hardly recognize the "way too overly confident, arrogant, fun loving, self centered SamG" from about 4 years ago.  I missed him.  Back then SamG was both extremes.  I was extremely shy but very outgoing.  I was cocky and arrogant but still humble.  I was a real life living breathing paradox.  Recently I came to the realization that I was now a "sick of the world and mankind in general hermit, with a bum heart and a lot of stagnant dreams."  

What had changed?  I thought about it for a long time.  I had accidentally grown up some.  My outlook on everything had changed.  The past year had changed me enough that I wasn't the same kid anymore.  People draw their strength and inspiration from different places.  I know several who depend on nature.  I get mine from people and from having an audience.  I loved being an auctioneer and putting on a show.  I felt like the P.T. Barnum of the Junk World.  I never worried much if I made a lot of money, but did I put on a good show.  It's why I wanted to do SamG Land... so people will come and I can put on a show.  I miss my audience.

I've been working on getting rid of some of this adulthood that crept in.  I still know what I want to be when I grow up... that is one thing that hasn't changed.

SamG Loves Every Dang One of You!!!!  

  

Thinking about Mama...

Tomorrow is Mother's Day.  I'd like to wish all the ones out there a happy one.  I'm sitting here tonight though, thinking about mine.  July will be 20 years since she passed away.  It doesn't seem that long ago.  Time has a way of doing that.  Passing by before you know it.  I'm gonna spend a few moments reminiscing and sharing.  

My mother's name was Ruby.  I think she may have been one of the most loved people I've ever known.  She knew everybody.  She did her share of pouring out love too.  I could write for days about the things she did to help people.  

I was a "Mama's Boy."  I'll never deny that.  She spoiled me and every other woman I've known has had to live with that.  I've been pretty fortunate to have women who spoil me throughout life, now that I think about it.  

My mama loved fried chicken.  That's kind of an understatement.  She really loved fried chicken.  I ate so much fried chicken growing up that when I got out on my own, I'd refuse to each chicken fried on the bone.  Now since I've had the heart worked on, I can't eat it anymore anyway.  

Nobody made better sweet tea than my mama.  Don't try to argue with me on this.  Tetley tea with two big scoops of sugar and whatever magic she put in it.  I think we would go through 3 gallons a day.  It's got caffeine in it.  I couldn't drink it anymore either now.  

Mama had her spot where she usually sat most of the time.  It was the seat at the end of the kitchen table.  Most times, that's where you would find her.  If I tried to sneak in late, she'd be there waiting on me.  If I ever needed someone to sit and talk to, that's where she would be too.

My mama had her own brand of wisdom.  I never could get much by her.  When I'd come home late, she could tell me who I'd been with, and where I'd been.  I was a pretty good kid and never got into much trouble.  One night, about a month or so before she passed, we were sitting there at the kitchen table and I started telling her everything I'd ever done that I did slip by her though.  I think I told her about ever time I came home drunk and didn't get caught.  I told her about the girl that I thought I had gotten pregnant.  I told her everything. 

Most every time I think back to my mama, I picture her sitting at that kitchen table.  My mind always starts wishing I could sit there and have another one of those talks. I want that feeling of  just knowing that someone loves you and is willing to listen.  I want to hear some of that advice that only she could give.  Over all these years there have been many times that I needed to sit there, but I can't. 

Twenty years later... i still miss sitting with you at that kitchen table. 

Happy Mother's Day Maw...