Christmas: A Time of Traditions and the Worst Christmas Story Ever Told

This has been a most difficult year for a lot of people.  The holidays haven't been the same without Christmas parties and gatherings of friends.  I have a few Christmas traditions that I usually do at gatherings.  I do my impersonation of Elvis singing "Blue Christmas" and I tell the following story.  I've told it many, many times over the years but have never written it down. I have painted it though.  It's not a proud moment in my life, but the following events actually occurred just as I am telling them.  Ladies and Gentlemen I present to you... Night of the Mole Titty, the Worst Christmas Story Ever Told.

It was Christmas 2008.  I had recently gotten divorced at the end of October after being married for 7 1/2 years.  A week later, my brother's girlfriend introduced me to one of her friends.  We dated briefly, which is another story of it's own, but it ended with her kicking me out of the house buck ass naked for telling her that her butt stank. 

When Christmas came around I was lonely.  A friend of mine had told me about an online dating site that he used, so I said what the heck and signed up.  I found this girl on there that lived nearby and we started talking.  She invited me over to her house for dinner, so being poor, broke and hungry, I accepted.  I go knock on the door and the woman who answered the door looked nothing like her profile photo.  I'm talking U-G-L-Y!!!! I didn't know what to do, but I could smell the dinner she'd cooked and I was hungry.  I go in and eat and we watch some movie on TV and talk a little and I get out of there.  We talked about art some and she showed me some of her daughter's art.  She seemed to have a real appreciation for art.  

Being the gentleman that I am, and being appreciative of the nice meal.  I decide that I would take her out to dinner the following night and tell her that it wasn't going to work out.  I took her out to Chili's and ran into 95% of the people I know that didn't know that I'd gotten divorced and thought I was running around with this ugly ass woman.  Afterwards she asks if we can go back to my house so she can see some of my art.  I said ok, since it was on the way back to taking her home.  

We get to my house and I show her around and she wants to watch a movie or something.  While we're sitting on the couch, she jumps on top of me and starts trying to kiss on me.  I'm like what the hell and get up and go to the bathroom.  When I come out, she's no longer on the couch and I hear her in the bedroom.  The lights were out.  

I've made some poor decisions in my lifetime.  I'm not going to lie about it.  As I was standing there in the doorway trying to figure out what I was going to do with this ugly woman laying naked in my bed,  I began to feel sorry for her.  In my mind, I reasoned that it was Christmas... and this poor woman may never have an opportunity like this again.  I hesistantly laid on the bed.  It get's kind of graphic from this point, but there is no better way to tell it, so bear with me.  I started sucking on one of her breasts.  In the dark, I was having a difficult time navigating around there and I finally found something to latch onto.  It felt awkward and in a weird location, and as my eyes started to adjust to the darkness, I realized that I was sucking on a big hairy mole.  I lost my shit.  I felt so violated and dirty. I was completely grossed out. I began to panic, but then I  remembered my shoulder and the ability to throw it out of socket at will.  It was the result of a weight lifting injury in high school.   As I began screaming in pain, she asked what was wrong.  I told her that my shoulder was out and that I was going outside to smoke a cigarette and try to get it back in place.  

Five hours later, it was 3:00 in the morning, I had been trying to come up with a plan but I was just too disturbed.  I think I smoked two packs of cigarettes.   I finally go back in hoping that she was asleep and hadn't stolen a bunch of my shit.  I crawl in bed quietly, completely clothed.  I even had my coat on.  Every time she got near me, I'd scream like I was in pain.  I woke up early the next morning, told her that I had to go.  I took her home and never saw or talked to her again.  

So there it is people... The Worst Christmas Story Ever Told.  I told you that it was going to be.  

That night haunted me for a while.  Christmas had been ruined. After the two dating experiences I'd gone through after my divorce, I said that I was going to give up dating for a while, but then I met this really cute little midget lady at the Waffle House on New Year's Eve.  That's another less exciting story for another day.  

I try to have a moral to the story when I write one of these things... but I'm gonna let you figure the lesson you need from this one on your own.  

Merry Christmas from SamG!!!!  

A Junkman Looks at 50

 I guess you could say that I'm more of an artist now, but forever in my heart, I will always be a junkman.  Eight days from now I will be turning 50.  The Perfect TV hair is thinning a little.  It's also turned much grayer. I've got some artificial replacement parts now in my right knee and my heart. Somedays I feel old.

I went back and read a blog post on here about turning 40.  My goal then was, "Ain't much happiness left in the world, and I got to do something about it!!!"  I know that I've tried to help fix that. Forty seems like a long time ago.  I actually went to my 40th Birthday Party, even though I showed up 2 1/2 hours late.  It's one of the rare ones that I showed up for.  We had talked about a big 50th Birthday Party with a bunch of friends at The Clermont Lounge.  I told my friends that with the Covid restrictions, if I couldn't get a lap dance from a 70 year old stripper, I didn't even want to go.  My plans are much more subtle now, but will still be fun.  Hopefully I will get to meet an artist that I admire.  

Anyways, it's time to start the reminiscing I suppose.  I've made changes in the past ten years, I left my hometown of Pike County Georgia for the Northeast Georgia Mountains.  My first house here was in Reggie Meaders old home.  I enjoyed my time there.  It was really cool getting to see history as it was happening.  I became friends with David Meaders, who passed away earlier this year.  I always looked forward to kiln firings, those were fun times.  Those years in the old Meaders place were hard on me financially though.  I remember telling people that I'd leave and go back home, if I wasn't too broke to.  I had some good times in that old house though too.  

I lived in Dahlonega for a while too, I really grew fond of the "Steak 'n Shake."  Then I moved to Hollywood, GA into what is now referred to as "World Famous SamG Land."  Lorri and I had been dating a while and I had lived here briefly before moving to Dahlonega.  I told her that I needed my own space here, so I purchased a studio building.  She told me  that I could do whatever I wanted to here.  I don't think she thought I'd do this.  

One of the favorite things about the last 10 years has been the people that I've met.  There are so many that I won't try to name them all.  Just know that I love you.  

A lot changed on March 13, 2017 when I damn near died on the shitter.  That's documented in one of the past blog posts, if you aren't familiar with that story.  I had to give up smoking, drinking, fried foods, and collard greens, broccoli, and cabbage.  With all the things I had to give up, I gained a few things too.  The foremost being appreciation.  I've learned to appreciate every day and every one (unless they piss me off).  I see other artists talking about setting goals and planning for the future.  I tried doing that at one time.  Now my daily goal is to have as much fun as I can.  That's all I hope to accomplish, having fun.  I recently told someone, "I see all these artists talking about working, if art is work, then you're doing something wrong."  Art to me has always been "happy fun time!"  

Now looking back at the past year.  It's been amazing. I'd planned on doing more shows this year and had actually signed up for a couple. I miss seeing everyone and can't wait to hug people and hunch on some legs. But then Covid hit and everything was cancelled. But that was ok, things kept happening for me.  I feel like I've been on this magic ride since October of last year. It didn't slow down thru the winter and when Covid hit, it seems like it picked up even more.  2020 has been a tough year on a lot of people, but I can honestly say that even without doing one single show, it's been the best year that I've ever had as an artist, by far!  I wanted to make people come to me, and damn if it didn't work!  I got a couple of breaks that really helped me too.  For those I am very grateful.  

As for the future, I will be here in SamG Land making my own world, trying to spread as much love as I can, and being as oblivious to the outside world as possible.  I'm just going to try to be happy and have fun until the world explodes. 

To anyone who wants to throw me a 50th Birthday Party, go ahead and do it.  Cut the cake and have a good time.  Play some music and dance.  Break out the karaoke machine!!!  I probably wouldn't have shown up anyway.  I just have this thing about hating birthdays.

SamG

Be Good to Everybody.... my visit to a snake handling church

 I went to church this morning.  It's not something I regularly do anymore.  The last time I was in one was almost 2 years ago down in Plains, Ga.  Lorri and I along with our friends Jack and Ginger went to see Jimmy Carter teach Sunday School.  Today I went to the Edwina Church of God in Jesus Christ's Name in Newport, TN.  It is led by Pastor Jimmy Morrow.  It's a small church.  They believe in the handling of serpents.  Jimmy is also a folk artist.  The only people present were myself and Lorri, Pastor Morrow and his wife Pam, and the assistant pastor and his family, for a total of about 10 people.  Jimmy let me know though that National Geographic was there 3 weeks ago and the Smithsonian Institute had visited recently.  

I heard about Jimmy Morrow through Fred Scruton.   Fred is a well known photographer of art environments and folk artists.  I was intrigued by his photographs and wanted to learn more, and I wanted one of those dolls for my collection.   I've heard tales of snake handling churches most of my life, mostly in a negative or derogatory sense.  I will say first that I was drawn to his art first, and the idea of a cultural experience seemed intriguing.  Then I got to speak with him over the phone.  He has a strong country accent with a distinct twang in his voice.  We talked 15 or 20 minutes about religion and art and he told me that he'd cancelled church for a while because of the coronavirus, but was starting back up on August 16th.  I told him I'd see him then. 

We got there today and met his wife first.  He was over at the building next door where he has some of his artwork on display.  He saw us and hollered for us to come over.  We talked and looked thru all of his paintings in there while he worked on hanging pictures of him and his wife.  Then we walked over to the church and looked at his artwork in there.  Then up the mountain to the cemetery where his great, great, great grandfather is buried.  He lived to be 115.  Jimmy told a story about when he died, his beard was 6 feet long, they stole his wife's rolling pin to roll his beard up and buried it with him.  He also told us that he won a greased pig catching contest when he was 90.  Jimmy also showed us a rock that had some carvings in it that he went to to pray before service every Sunday.  Then we go back in for the service.

He starts his service at 1:00 pm.  He told me the reason why, but I can't remember what it was.  The service started out with a prayer and some singing.  I didn't know most of the hymns they sang.  There were a few standards like "I'll Fly Away" and "Amazing Grace" mixed in.  There was no piano.  Just people singing and some kids playing tambourines.  Then they asked if anybody wanted to sing anything.  One lady picked a few and sang them from her seat.  Jimmy got up and sang a few, followed by his wife Pam.  Pam has a beautiful voice that sounds more like it would be more at home in a blues club in Memphis than in a country church on the other side of the state.  The message was done by the assistant pastor today and was followed up by Pastor Morrow giving a talk.  

After the service, we stood and talked to the members in attendance.  When they all left, we did the business of purchasing a couple pieces of art.  Jimmy Morrow is a man of stories and a great conversationalist.  I read somewhere that he only has a 5th grade education, yet he is a highly intelligent man.  The one thing that I heard him say over and over today was, "Be good to everybody."  Maybe if all the churches would start preaching that message more often.  Maybe if everybody would stop arguing and just do the simple act of being good to everybody.  But instead of doing that, people would rather argue over his belief of handling snakes and point out their discrepancies with his doctrines.  I read something the other day that read, "Hate is not a Christian value."  I don't see a lot of love coming from Church folks anymore.  People I grew up respecting have changed. 

So anyway, to get back on topic, I plan on going back up to visit Jimmy Morrow in a couple of months when it gets cooler to see more of his art and just shoot the bull.  I could listen to his stories for hours, and hope to!  

Tonight as I sit here and reminisce about the day, I just think about all the trouble the world is in, and how one country preacher reminded me today of the answer to fix it. 

Be Good to Everybody.

Be Good to Everybody.

Sending love to everyone of you....

SamG

I cried today during a Star Wars movie... and more sentimental ramblings

I went and saw "Star Wars, The Rise of Skywalker" today.  I'd been kinda putting it off for a couple days.   Lorri and I sat there until the end of the closing credits.  It was an attempt to hide the fact that I was crying.  Some of it was that this storyline that I've been following for 40 years came to an end.  That wasn't the real reason I was fighting off the tears though. 

If you've been following me for any amount of time, you're already familiar with the story of my heart surgery in March of 2017.  If not, there's a blog about it all on here somewhere, go find it, it's a good story.  For the past several years before that I'd lived life not caring if I lived or died.  That day though,  I was riding in an ambulance on my way to have open heart surgery that I was told I likely wouldn't survive.  As I laid there, I came up with two reasons that I wanted to live.  I thought the Georgia Bulldogs would have a decent football team, and I'd like to see it. (They went on to play for the National Championship.)  The other reason was that I'd like to see the end of the Star Wars movies.  Today as I sat there in the dark watching those rolling credits, I thought of that ambulance ride.  I thought about how thankful I was that God let me stay here on this Earth. I thought about how one of the only two reasons I could come up with for wanting to live for, was to see this movie. 

Then my mind shifted to this decade ending in a few days.  Seeing this movie today, in a sense, was kind of like the end of that era of my life.  I've accomplished the things that I wanted to live for.  The 2010's were a decade full of emotions and ups and downs.  I think of the loved ones that passed away over the past 10 years.  I really miss my Pop a lot.  Friends like Wayne Storey, Craig Hicks, Brandon Rogers, and many others, I still think of often.  I left Pike County after living there my whole life and moved 2 1/2 hours away on my own to chase a crazy dream. So many wonderful people have entered my life in the past 10 years.  Some are still friends, while others were only meant to pass through.

That's enough about the past. That era has now ended.  It is time to start anew.  I can think of a lot more reasons to live for now. There are some beautiful, amazing people, in my life right now.  This crazy dream of mine is starting to come true. I still have Perfect Hair for Television, (so if anybody is needing someone to be a movie star or host a gameshow or something... just holler!)  I could go on and on about all the reasons, but I am definitely happy to be living. 

Goals for the coming decade: 

1.  Show love and encouragement to as many people as I can. 
2.  Right the wrongs I've done, and forgive those who wrong me.
3.  Have fun every single day.
4.  Keep doing things the way I want to do them.

2019 was a great year to be SamG.  I'm lucky that I get to be that full-time.  Thanks to all of you that have purchased my work, visited SamG Land, been a friend, prayed for me, or said a kind word.  I love you all.  May the coming decade be full of love, creativity, friendships, experiences and even more love!!!

Always remember, if you ever need a friend... you have one right here!!!
I mean that.

SamG

Finding something lost

I'm not real sure if it's the pressure of getting ready for my solo show this coming Saturday or not, but I feel like I've gotten back a part of me that's been gone for a while.  Ever since my heart surgery, I feel like I've struggled to be creative.  I like the art that I've been doing for the yard, but honestly haven't done much art for sale that I've liked a whole lot.  Most of it was a redo of previous ideas.  Lately though something has changed. 

I feel like my mind has awakened a bit.  I was at a Santana concert a couple weeks ago.  They performed "Imagine" by John Lennon.  His wife, Cindy Blackman Santana, who is an amazing drummer, sang it.  During the song, I got an idea for a painting.  That hasn't happened in a long time. 
I've had several new ideas that I look forward to showing this coming weekend.  New ideas, I've been struggling to get those back for a while now.  I hope they keep coming. 

I've been kinda missing doing shows lately.  I miss seeing a lot of my friends out there.  There just aren't any good local shows that I know of that are still around.  I refuse to apply to a show where I have to pay a jury fee.  If they want me they can invite me.  I approached shows differently than a lot of people.  My goal was for people to view me as the art, the stuff I made was souvenirs.  You come meet me, take home something if you want and I tried to NEVER, no matter how broke I was, act like I needed the money.  I miss being around people.  I get my energy from people. 

Today while I was switching out summer/winter clothes in my closet, I came across the Glow in the Dark jacket that I used to wear, but haven't in a couple of years.  The other day I came across one of my original "Free Hugs" shirts and a couple pair of gold painted shoes.  I put them back a while back for when I open the "SamG Land Museum of all things SamG."  I kinda miss that guy that used to wear them.  I've thought a lot about how he was probably the part of me that died when I had my heart incident.  Maybe part of him needed to. 

Anyways, who knows maybe I'll pull that Glow in the Dark  jacket out and wear it sometime.  And I'd have to wear the matching Glow in the Dark Gold Shoes.   The world could always use more hugs too.  Just wondering if maybe the future shouldn't start with where the past left off.  Just have to wait and see.

SamG 

Funerals are good for bringing back memories...

I went to a funeral today.  It was for my mom's brother, Marion, but everybody knew him as "Speedy."  I always liked Uncle Speedy.  I would consider him and his brother, my Uncle Billy, as two of the best storytellers that I've ever heard.  I stopped by my Grandfather's grave too while I was over there.  He's buried beside GA 20 across from Philadelphia Baptist Church near Canton, GA in what was known as Buffington Community.  The Air Force Thunderbirds flew over a couple of times while I was there, which I thought was pretty cool. 

My grandfather had 19 kids.  Only 3 of them are left now, Uncle Billy, Aunt Faye, and Aunt Donnie, but we all know her as Dunk.  It was fun visiting everyone and hearing stories.  Even got Uncle Billy on a roll and he told a couple.  Here is one of my favorites...  Papa Weaver (my grandpa) had made him a big batch of homebrew and had it bottled up and hid it all up under the front porch.  Back then the preacher would come around and hold "Prayer Meeting" at different people's houses.  All the neighboring folks would gather around the house where the preacher was meeting and they'd have a service.  This one particular day, it was really hot.  About the time the preacher got going good, they started hearing a POP POP POP noise.  It was the homebrew blowing the corks out the bottle.  

I'll tell you one more.  Papa Weaver loved to pull a joke on somebody.  I've heard countless tales about him doing that.  Uncle Billy told the story about Papa teaching him how to ride a bull.  The first time the bull threw him straight over his horn and down right in front of him.  Papa told him to grab the bull by the tail and hold it over his shoulder.  Billy said that time the bull just run slap through the fence with him.  You would have to hear him tell it though.  Nobody tells a story like Uncle Billy.  

I used to love going to Uncle Speedy and Aunt Mary Ann's.  She made the best Chicken and Dumplings ever.  We were talking about that as I was eating some at Cracker Barrel this afternoon.  I spent many holidays there with them.  I loved to hear Uncle Speedy tell stories about when he was racing.  I can still see that one toothed grin that he had.  As a matter of fact, it was the subject of my first painting.  

In November 2007, I painted my first painting.  SamG #1.  I've put a picture of it below.  I'd taken an online career quiz that said that I should be an artist.  Having never painted before, I bought some paints, brushes and a palette and dug through my shop and found a piece of plywood.  Using the bed of my truck as my easel, I painted a picture of Uncle Speedy and his one tooth to give to my aunt Mary Ann for Christmas.  When I went to sign it, I realized Sam G. was all I was gonna be able to fit there... and it just stuck.  It got merged into one word a little bit later and became SamG.  That's how this whole journey began.

Thanks for all the memories Uncle Speedy.  You fought a good fight for the past 11 months, but now you are home.

Me blabbing a lot about being successful....

It's a cold and rainy day here in World Famous SamG Land.  The past few weeks have been really busy.  It is a perfect time to take some time off and rest.  I have a few things to work on, but I don't have to be in any real hurry.  I won't be in any hurry anyways. 

I see a lot of my other artist friends working hard right up until the last day filling Christmas orders.  Many are already talking about plans for the coming New Year.  January and February are typically tough on artists with sales being low during those months.  I'm hoping the best for all those as they work to build a reserve for the next couple of months. 

I see a lot of posts on social media about "What it Takes to be a Successful Artist!" or similar inspirational topics.  I used to read all of those stories, trying to learn what it takes to make it.  I stopped a long time ago.  I have my own opinion as to what it takes to be a "successful" artist, but for the sake of this post, I'll keep those to myself. 

Most people view success differently than I do.  I doubt few would think I was successful by looking at my bank account.  I quit caring a long time ago about which galleries carried my work.  I prefer not being in them honestly, unless they purchase my work and I don't have to keep up with what art is where.  I have also cut back on doing shows, which in my opinion has helped more than hurt.  When people do see me out somewhere, they know it's pretty rare so they seem more likely to buy my work.  I also choose not to promote myself or do art shows in the region in which I live.  I have seen that it isn't worth the effort anymore.  There aren't many true "Art Events" here anyway.  Most seem to be an event that is centered around something else... Wine, Music, or just a Big Party for example... and they need artists booth fees to help pay for it. 

Why would I feel that I am "successful" at being an artist?  I have fun.  Since I took all the pressures off of myself of doing what everyone else thinks I need to do.  I have fun.  I said when I started making art, "If it ever becomes work, I'll quit."  I've been close to quitting several times.  I also feel like I'm successful as an artist because I have done it MY WAY.  Just ask show promoters, I have told many over the years that "No that's not the way I'm going to do it."  If they object, then i don't go.  I also refuse to pay a jury fee.  Demand that they pre-approve you.  It works a lot more than you may think!!!   I typically don't deal with people in the "Art Business."  I've just learned better.  I tell people NO... and often go into long ramblings and opinions of why I have said NO.  NO is the most empowering word in the English Language.  Use it more.  I make whatever I want to make. Some like it, some don't.  I don't care either way.  The biggest reason I consider myself successful at being an artist???  I make people happy, or at least I do my best to.  Money is always good to get.. but smiles are often the best payment ever!!! 

So before anybody gets all judgemental and thinks I'm putting down the way you do things, I'm not.  Work hard.  Continue to set goals.  Just don't use them as a measure of success.  Success is perceived anyway.  Change the way you look at it.  In life, happiness is the greatest success.  Don't be afraid to do it your way. 

Or just tell everybody you are World Famous and fake it like i did... even convince yourself of it...

It's up to you.....

Merry Christmas from SamG Land!!!!!!